2021..
2021 was a train wreck of a year within our household. January through to March saw skeleton staffing within my nursing team which was hugely stressful; my husband was told in April that he would no longer be continuing on the clinical trial which promised such a huge amount of hope for us as a family. It was a devastating blow to be told a second time that he has a diagnosis with no hope other than palliative interventions for symptoms. His HD became worse and isolation did not help this! On came the summer which saw myself sprain my neck and end up with a frozen shoulder. Back to work over a busy summer was about two staff working for 2 surgeries pretty much daily. The demands where high and patients and families felt covid has pretty much gone and the level of patience and entitlement has risen.
As a family
we decided a mini break was definitely needed. We ended up in the worst holiday
camp known to man where I had a massive panic attack and ended up having heart
palpitations whilst being carted off in an ambulance to Weston hospital. Sometimes
your body just forces you to stop, I absolutely needed to! So I had 6 weeks off
work and was up and ready to go back to the grindstone when COVID19 hit our
household hard.
My lovely
husband had respiratory symptoms and had a convulsive turn, one ambulance and a
2 night stay in hospital and he came back home. Myself 5 days of nausea,
vomiting and dizziness, followed by another ambulance, a 4 day hospital stay,
with a week later returning with dizziness on going nausea and a day in the
emergency day unit having a head CT scan. My lovely best mate moved in and
looked after us – Thank you Aunty Marie! My daughter managed to miss the covid
but unfortunately my poor cat developed covid too!!
Skip 7 weeks later my Mr W, the cat and I have nearly recovered and I am still off work recovering. Getting your mojo back post covid has definitely been most challenging!
So this
year, yes it has been shit, really shit! But thank you covid you have taught
me:
1 – If I go
down it’s like London has fallen. I need to prioritize me - it’s not a question
of no time it’s a question of making time otherwise I will be gone long before
my husband and I can’t do that to my daughter or cat!
2- I will
not take my health for granted.
3- I have
gotten around to sorting wills and powers of attorney over both health and
finance.
4- I have
been off work on and off for nearly 6 months over the last year. You know it’s
just been shit I can’t help it. Sometimes life smacks you in the face and this
year it has been a Tyson fury knockout.
5 –
Recovery is my priority and then when I’m ready to grab that work ball I will
keep on juggling! I don’t expect anyone not in my shoes to get it. They
probably won’t. I have to let that go.
6- Absolutely
no bloody idea how going forward I will cope with HD and life and juggling more
balls in the air than an expert juggler whilst life throws me up and down
faster than a cobbler’s hammer.
7- I’ll
just figure it out as I go….
SO chin up my darlings pick yourself up off that floor and straighten that crown, you don’t belong down there. I know if you’re reading this you’re probably a bloody hero!
This post is dedicated to my lovely neighbour Sharon, we may or may not have got this but I’m always here for you over the wall. You are the bloody hero and I promise you aren’t alone
Photo in public domain https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?image=372693&picture=happy-new-year-2021
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